In bed with Kylie

Goodness only knows how Kylie’s diehardest fans knew about the location of her own-name bedlinen launch because it was at one obscure venue, Ladbroke Hall in deepest North Kensington (aka Ladbroke Grove), but know it they did and they, plus the gaggle of paparazzi outside, were waiting very patiently to see the pop princess herself. Inside there was “security”, there was a TV cameraman, and the tallest, thinnest, blondest, most good-looking crowd I’ve seen for some time, including the men. Men? The usual thing at press launches is that women outnumber the men by twenty to one. The crowd awaiting Kylie brought those stats down to 3:1. Can’t think why. As it turned out, we only had to wait an hour for the star of the show to show, a wait that was pretty painless as it was fuelled by endless supplies of Billecart-Salmon. When Kylie did appear, introduced by a crimson-clad Kathy Lette, and wearing the cutest, fluffiest champagne-coloured feather mini dress accessorised with a bronze-crystal-studded microphone, a hush fell. Kathy cracked a joke about Kylie’s male admirers all now being able to say they’ve “been to bed with Kylie”, and Kylie cracked a joke back that I cannot repeat on a well brought-up website. And the bedlinen? Seven ranges called things like “Vintage” or “Chandelier” or “Deco” in elegant colours like dove grey, platinum and vanilla. The stars for me were the crystal-studded taffetta quilts, which I’m plotting to use in a shoot. Kylie’s own favourites? “Chandelier or Tiger.” Everything, including the shimmering silver sequined pieces, can go in the wash. If you’re going down the mid-priced-bedlinen-route you really can’t do better. On sale exclusively at House of Fraser from March. Now we can all say we’ve been to bed with Kylie. Hurrah!