Fight The Good Fight!

Take a look at this picture and get praying. It's from the last Glastonbury in 2005 and for me it's a horrible reminder of how much effect the weather can have on a festival. This picture alone has me obsessively checking the weather every half hour and let me tell you that things do not look good for this year.

What am I going to do to cope with the mud? And more importantly, how will I co-ordinate my traffic-stopping outfits? Certainly not by taking the advice of certain national newspapers' fashion pages, which have been instructing their readers to wear wide legged flares and maxi dresses. In the words of festival diva Amy Winehouse, "No, no, no".

You cannot, MUST NOT, wear anything long or flared to a festival. If the weather is bad, your garment will soak up so much moisture, you'll be weighed down. If the weather is good, you still have to negotiate with festival toilets, which are never cleaned as much as needed. I witnessed Paris Hilton attempt to protect her beautiful Cavalli maxi dress at Coachella this year and fail miserably. If some one as high-maintenance as Paris can't protect her delicate clothing, then there's no hope for the rest of us.

Instead, I shall be packing the following items in an attempt to save my grace and still look cute!

1. A Barbour jacket

Absolutely perfect for a festival, this jacket is lightweight, keeps out the rain and wind, comes with a hood, and is a designer classic. Also, it definitely beats the ubiquitous parka in the style stakes, because not that many people wear them.

2. Leather Biker Jacket
I've got a gorgeous one from All Saints. Biker jackets are the hottest item in the rock and roll world, but they're also very practical. I'll be wearing it under my Barbour when it's very cold. It's windproof so I can wear it on its own, and it'll look fab with all the minidresses I'm optimistically packing.

3. Durable wellies
I have a gorgeous high heeled pair of wellies in sky blue which remind me of the kind of thing 60s Go-Go dancers would've worn. Woefully, if I take them to a muddy festival they'll probably get sucked into a puddle. I'm taking a trusty pair from Millets.

4. Shorts/miniskirts/short dresses
Yes, it may sound crazy when there's torrential rain forecast, but it's much easier to keep your skin dry if it's exposed. Tights, jeans and leggings are a major faux-pas when it's wet because you'll end up with very soggy legs for hours and will probably catch a cold. Your only other alternative is waterproof trousers. But come on. Although it's wet, you should at least try and look good, right?

5. Open-toed platform shoes
When things are a bit drier, these are the perfect shoes because the thick heel will help you keep your balance on soft ground and the platform will raise you that extra inch off the ground to see the musical acts.

6. Sunglasses
Even if it's not sunny, hiding your puffy under-eye bags is essential. Ray Bans are what all the coolest rockers are wearing this year, but I'd also recommend Alain Mikli, because they come in wonderful new rave colours and this Glasto is all about new rave!

7. A waterproof bag
I've got a lovely black PVC handbag that comes from Primark, of all places. As it's PVC and not leather, it's waterproof and shouldn't get ruined. And even if it does, it was only £5.

One more word of advice: do not bring anything that you are too attached to. It's highly likely your clothes are going to get trashed, and you'll end up having to bin some pieces. But remember, Glastonbury is the most exciting rock and roll festival in the world, so a bit (or even a lot) of mud won't ruin your fun if you just go with it and try to enjoy the sludge!

Check out more festival staples.